random thoughts, Self Discovery

She’s Gotta Have It All pt 1

Sorry gang. It’s too soon for me to blog about Black Panther. Not only is it too soon but I’ve only seen it once and it would be super unfair for me to even blog without having read the comic. But rest assured that it’s coming.

Raise your hand if you identify with Nola Darling. If you didn’t like the series DON’T READ THIS BLOG. If you slut shame other women DON’T READ THIS BLOG. Keep all of that energy over there. This is for us. Spike. You got me with this one. Oh yeah, and if you slut shame your friends, FIND NEW FRIENDS.

I finally stopped binge watching this show every weekend since it dropped. Initially I had said that I wasn’t going to blog about it. It’s just so good that I thought a discussion (like I hosted for Insecure) would do it more justice. Well. Too late now. I’m here.

I had no idea where I wanted to begin giving my two cents (that nobody asked for) about She’s Gotta Have It. There is so much that Spike did with the show all at once from the music to the imagery. I wanted to approach it by giving a generic overview. Then I wanted to analyze it by the characters. I decided that I was overthinking it and that it would be easier to give my thoughts on each episode just not all at once. I’m all over the place so bear with me as I try to summarize my thoughts.

Too often as single women, we are policed on how to be single. Be single but don’t go on too many dates. Be single but don’t have a lot of sex. You’re too picky, that’s why you’re single. Who gives a damn? Let people be. This is why people hide who they are and why they’re afraid to share their truths.

Nola lives the life that many goody two shoes girls dream to live without judgement, regret or consequence. The ones that binge on She’s Gotta Have It instead of boycotting it because it goes against all of their morals and values. We see you girl. It’s cool. When you’re ready to be free, the tribe will embrace you with open arms. K?

But let me get off my soap box.

Episode 1: DaJumpoff (Doctrine)

I love how Spike introduced each of the characters and their connections to Nola. Let’s get on Jamie. The way Jamie adores her had me looking at the TV like damn sir, aren’t you married?

In life, God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need…..and Nola is my need…..

Baby! I had to rewind it too! Had me wondering what the hell he’d say about his wife. *crickets


But the sex…….good Lord! Taking lunch breaks to smash, bringing gifts, writing poetry. What wife?

I’ll make no apologies when I say that I love how unintentionally corny Mars is. And how super attentive he is to Nola outside of the sex.

I’ve had a Greer before. Ugh. They’re exhausting. I think that narcissism is an understatement. But I can see how and why Nola keeps him around. He lays great pipe and is good for entertainment. Sound familiar?

Oh yeah and Nola definitely broke the roommate code and girl code by sleeping with Mars. Don’t get it twisted. I don’t know of any circles where this is cool, do you?

All the men know about each other. And they ask about each other. Cake. Ice cream. Eat them both.

Nola’s encounter with the stranger on the street while walking home is exactly what happens when little boys don’t get their way or unwanted attention. All of a sudden she was a “bitch” after she didn’t acknowledge him trying to “holla” at her. I have a whole blog about that coming soon called Plenty of Fish in the Sea. I’m just glad that she channeled that negative energy into creating the “My Name Isn’t” campaign.

Episode 2: BootyFull (Self-Acceptance)

Shamekka. Shamekka. Shamekka. I understand. I do. One minute, folks are saying “if you don’t like something, change it.” Then in the next minute folks are telling you “love yourself as you are and don’t change anything.” I get it. Hell, I’m even guilty. However, I think that we all can agree that if you’re going to do so, go to a real doctor hun.

Gentrification is happening. Has been happening. And isn’t slowing down any time soon. This is the one time when “no doesn’t mean no” doesn’t seem to apply. Isn’t it also ironic that the people that occupy these gentrified spaces expect to be welcomed with open arms by the locals?

Clorinda is one of those women that police other women and it bothers me. Girl, get the hell on!

Episode 3: LBD (Little Black Dress)

Therapy. Yes Lord. I’m here for it. All of it! You should be as well!

                Men need to grow up. If they can’t deal with me in a little black dress, then fuckem

I felt that in my spirit! How about men control themselves? Or is that too much to ask for? Of course it is.

Jamie would have been donkey of the day for taking Nola to a local place where he could possibly be recognized by people that either one of them knew. Sidechick handbook page 48 would have told Nola to make sure that this rule was adhered to. Amateurs (there will not be a blog on why I know these things, just know I know).

Greer and that damn camera. I wished that Nola would have just cut his conceited ass off. His personality is just too overwhelming.

Again in this episode, Mars gets all my love. He is the only guy trying to figure out who Onyx is and also the only guy that prays for Nola.

Episode 4: LuvisLuv (Sexuality is Fluid)

The cleanse. Social media. Weed. Alcohol. Men. I’m with it. But she definitely cheated with Opal. I don’t think yall understand how important it is to go on that kind of cleanse. Often. Sometimes we don’t understand how these habits can foster negative energy.

Did y’all peep that Greer didn’t even acknowledge Opal when she and Nola ran into him? What an ass! Just throw the entire man in the trash.

Now I’m not gonna lie, I questioned Nola’s work ethic in this episode. Not only do you show up sixteen minutes late, but without lesson plans. C’mon sis. You’re a whole teacher! Clearly Ms. Raqueletta Moss doesn’t play those games.

Episode 5: 4 My Negus and my Bishes (All Words…..)

First of all, Nola broke the cleanse when she told on herself. She sparked a blunt after Opal cut her off. Then the rest of the cleanse went in the trash. The menfolk got the green light to come back into the lovin bed. The first guy she brings back is Jamie. And she calls him Mars. Lawd have mercy! We all knew that this day would come, just not so soon.

                This is your hood rat genes coming out in my Virgil

I’ve never wanted to slap someone so much in my life. I’m just going to leave it at that. I have nothing else nice to say. The video was quite a bit much but she threw the blame in the wrong direction. Clearly this kid didn’t learn this in their uppity ass household. Another thing that bothered me was that the school saw no issue with the video. I don’t know what world they lived in but it wasn’t realistic. AT ALL.

This episode serves as a reminder to pay attention to people that you are charging with your care. I’m not going to go to a dermatologist with terrible skin. Nor am I going to go to a dentist with bad teeth. Makes sense right? So I don’t know why the hell Shamekka would not only go to an unlicensed butt specialist inside a hotel room with a butt that looks like two of the largest balloons at Party City. Just why? To be given Hydrocodone as anesthesia. I think this is where common sense went out the window. I’m not sure what was worse, this part or the abortion Macy Gray botched in For Colored Girls. Sorry Shamekka, but you brought all that screaming and hollering on yourself.

Ms. Raqueletta Moss’ story that she told was heartfelt. She meant well but Nola still didn’t understand. Now I don’t know what she saw in Nola but hey, we can’t deny that she connects with the students.

Ok kids. That’s the end of the first half of season one. See ya next week for the second half.