Self Discovery, short stories

Control Freak

The beginning of Sza’s song Supermodel includes a clip about control.

That is my greatest fear. That if I lost control. Or did not have control. Things would just, you know. I. It would be fatal.

Sza, Supermodel

It resonated with me.

I admit it.

I’m a control freak.

I don’t even think I mean to be. 

My obsession with being in control is directly connected to my childhood.

The adults around me failed to take charge when and where (I thought) it was necessary. This resulted in me being forced to function normally in chaos and dysfunction all of the time. I felt helpless quite a lot. 

That fear of feeling helpless impacts almost all of the relationships in my life. I prefer to have control of most of my interactions with people. 

I’m not a bitch about it or anything like that (I don’t think) but I do prefer to be in charge when I can. I enjoy planning things and trying to account for any deviations from the plans. If I’m planning a road trip, I’m going to account for traffic, accidents, flat tires etc. If it’s a celebration, I can almost guarantee that I’ve accounted for the caterer to show up late or not at all. 

Being in control keeps my anxiety and panic at bay. 

But I learned a very valuable lesson recently.

Last week my car wouldn’t crank.

I just got the car at the end of May.

What the fuck could possibly be wrong now?

It was so random. I was stuck in a Ross parking lot on my lunch break. Midday. In hot ass Texas. 

There was no way I could have planned for this. However, I was somewhat prepared. I had jumper cables. I had access to roadside assistance. That’s as far as the preparation could go. I had to accept that head on. I simply had no control over the car not starting.

Instead of freaking out this time, I paused. It wasn’t the appropriate time to fall apart. It was time to strategize so that I can get back up and running until I could get to a mechanic to figure out what was wrong with it. I asked a stranger to jumpstart my car and then I drove it back to my apartment. I got another jump from a friend and was able to get it to the dealership. The dealership arranged my transport to and from the dealership. There was a screw missing on the battery and a clamp that was loose. Easy fix. I didn’t have to pay a dime for the “repair.” 

2 year plans are nice. Vision boards are smart. Following all of the directions serves its purpose most days. But they are simply preparation and the unexpected and unexplainable are simply bound to happen. Everything is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Shit happens. Things fall apart. Plans fail. People fall out of love. Friendships end. Loved ones die. 

As harsh as it sounds, it’s the reality of things. 

This isolated event served as a simple reminder that life is fluid and control is truly an illusion. 

JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY……

Do you consider yourself a control freak? Where does it stem from?

When do you feel most in control? When do you feel least in control?

How do you adjust when unexpected events happen in your life? Do you adjust in a healthy manner? If not, what could change?

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Black mental health, black mental health matters, Discover, mental health, mental health stigma, Self Discovery, short stories

Waiting to Exhale

*inhales

It’s been a little less than a month since I turned thirty-two. It came with a new set of creaks and cracks in my joints that I’ll be needing to smooth over with five deep breaths in my favorite yoga poses. In the midst of celebrating yet another revolution around the sun, I also confronted something that I’d been silently (and sometimes not so silently) battling for years. 

At the request of my therapist, I saw my psychiatrist for a second opinion on my mental health diagnosis. 

Turns out…….I’m schizophrenic. I’m certain that this may (or not) come as a shock to many of my readers, family and friends alike. 

But it’s my truth.

It’s a truth that I’m not ashamed of. It’s a truth that I embraced with peace and acceptance. As my psychiatrist and I were in my session, I immediately felt a sense of relief because I could finally put a name to the chaos that filled my head. A chaos that I had misunderstood as depression and anxiety. A chaos that I had chalked up to my upbringing. To religion. To my “free spirited and wild hearted” personality. But a majority of who I am has been riddled with mania, psychosis, paranoia, delusions and hallucinations. Like, a lot of it.

My psychiatrist reassured me that not everyone suffering from schizophrenia fits the classic textbook symptoms or “acts out” like the people we see in the media. She even said that she was proud at how much I’d been able to accomplish and was curious as to how I’d been able to mask most of my symptoms, to which my response was “I had no choice.” It was also during this session that I learned that people can suffer from high functioning schizophrenia just as commonly as people suffer from high functioning depression. 

We discussed options for treatment and I was open to starting a low-dosage antipsychotic in combination with weekly therapy visits and bi-weekly psychiatry visits.

I’ve always been my own biggest advocate and this by far has been the best decision I’ve made for myself. It’s been a month since I started my medication and I can genuinely feel the difference…..which was the goal. My therapist is proud. My support system has been supportive. And most importantly, I’m proud. 

If you’ve been supporting this blog for a while, you know I’ve always been pretty transparent about my mental health journey. I’ll be honest. This took me a moment to process in terms of how I was going to share. Mental health is soooooo stigmatized as it is especially within the black community. Then you combine that with the negative media portrayals of those suffering from schizophrenia. It’s clear to see why I chose to be careful. 

I’m not gonna give you the statistics, but just know that there are a lot more people suffering in silence. I simply choose not to be one of those people. Nor am I choosing to allow my diagnosis to restrict me from the life that I choose to live. 

I hope that this blog in particular helps someone feel less alone about it. And I also hope that it inspires someone to seek the mental health help that they need.

*exhales

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mental health, Self Discovery

Removing the Cape

So I was typing up the discussion for Black Girls Must Die Exhausted. 

Bumping Maxwell’s MTV Unplugged album- track 4. This Woman’s Work. Despite being tragically placed in the sex scene in Love and Basketball and many a first dance wedding song, the song is actually about death. 

In case you didn’t know. Go back and listen to the lyrics. And watch the video. 

So yeah.

Between the book, the music and the incense I was burning (which happened to be called “Black Woman”), I got in my feelings.

I got to thinking.

Finally, I have a job I don’t hate. An amazing apartment. Clear skin. Edges……..and in therapy. 

The insurance that I have through my job allows me to access for as little as $35 a session. I’ve been going weekly since December 5th. I went to my first session fully equipped with a plan. I wanted to commit myself to weekly sessions for at least one year. I even started a “therapy journal” last year to write down specific things I’d wanted to tackle when I finally found a therapist. 

We’re quite a few sessions in and I’m making a ton of progress. I’m telling y’all I came prepared to do “the work.” And I make sure to review all of my therapist’s notes after each session. 

The first culprit we’ve identified is PTSD (post- traumatic stress disorder). Primarily from childhood trauma. Now if you know me personally, this comes as no surprise. I’ve been pretty transparent about my upbringing. But I genuinely didn’t understand the extent to which it’d negatively impact every facet of my adult life and all of the relationships I’ve built within it. From family, to friends and lovers alike. 

The truth is. I’ve been tired for a very long time and now I’m fully coming to grips with why it’s understandable. Growing up being applauded for ensuring the wellbeing of others was not a badge of honor that I should have earned. Strength should never be rooted in anyone’s ability to put up with bullshit.

Frankly…….

I’m tired of being the strong daughter

I’m tired of being the strong sibling

I’m tired of being the strong niece

I’m tired of being the strong friend

I’m tired of being the strong colleague

The strong everything for everyone else.

And thanks to therapy, I realize that it’s okay for me to feel that way. I had to be responsible for so much at quite a young age. Just juggling everyone else’s SHIT in addition to my own. Almost to the point where I don’t even really know where anybody else’s shit ends and mine begins. Lately I’ve been working on distinguishing between the two and creating more boundaries to protect myself….FIRST.

So moving forward, I won’t be available in the same capacities that I used to be. 

I’ve taken the “strong” cape off.

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Discover, Inspiration, mental health, Motivation, random thoughts, Self Discovery, Uncategorized

Escaping Survival Mode

According to Psychology Today, “survival mode” is an adaptive response of the human body to help us survive danger and stress. 

From the outside looking in, many people would assume that I had an overall healthy childhood and adolescence. I was raised by my grandparents in the country. I got good grades. I never came off as disobedient. My yes mams and no sirs were always polished. Despite being a “good kid” raised in a super religious household, my life has never been exempt from trauma and dysfunction. I am almost certain that I’ve suffered from depression for years undiagnosed. 

I recently read and shared an article that discussed the immobilizing effects of depression. I recognized myself immediately. I wasn’t in a position to get out of the environment that I was in so I mentally became immobile. I don’t remember how I learned to control my rage. How to play along. How to seemingly “fit” into that world until I could get out of it.

Fast forward to now.

At 30. Far removed from the people, places and things that brought the trauma and dysfunction into my life, I still catch myself functioning in survival mode.

It is very difficult to escape this mindset.

I’m constantly reminding myself. I question my decisions alot. Why am I doing this? When it’s time for me to make important decisions I ask myself if I’m doing what I want to do or what needs to be done? Anything involving money and I’m asking if I’m buying an item from a headspace of lack.

Whatever helps right?

To the person that resonates with this blog:

  1. How are you or have you been working on escaping a mindself of survival mode?
  2. What has been your biggest challenge?
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Discover, Inspiration, Motivation, random thoughts, Self Discovery, Uncategorized

This is 30

Happy New Year to me!

30 is supposedly that pivotal age where you’re supposed to have it all figured out. I always thought that I’d be approaching 30 as a young woman thriving in the career of her dreams. With the love of my life. In a loving home. With a few rugrats running around said home.

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Man. Let me tell you about 30.

As 29 was coming to a close, I did a ton of soul searching and reflecting. I’d lived in NC my entire life. I had a few “almost” attempts to leave but never actually went through with the decision.

One day, I had a purely honest moment with myself.

Rock. This ain’t it! This isn’t the life intended for you boo.

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Here I was. 29. No husband. No boyfriend. No kids (well Milo). I felt STUCK. Stuck in a job that was surely leading me to an early grave. Gifts and talents that weren’t being put to good use. And degrees that were collecting dust. It was time for a change.

30 had to be different.

Today is my birthday. I gifted myself with an entire new life in Texas. I am happy. I am grateful. This is by far the most peace that I’ve had in a long time.

Everything I thought I wanted. Everything I thought I knew.

All out the window.

Despite the thought of living with my sister and brother-in-law at 30. Despite not knowing how long I’ll be here. Despite COVID-19. Despite not knowing what the future holds for myself. Or those that I love. Or you reading this blog.

30 is a reminder that at any moment, you can change the narrative of you life.

30 is a reminder that no matter how much you think you’re in control, you’re not.

30 is a reminder that 30 looks, sounds and feels different for everyone.

30 is a reminder that I’m stronger than I think and wiser than I give myself credit for.

30 is a reminder that it’s never too late for what you deserve.

This is 30. And it’s pretty fuckin lit.

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Discover, Inspiration, Motivation, random thoughts, Self Discovery

In Case You Were Wondering

As many of you may know (or don’t know), I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression in November 2015. Since then it’s been a colorful rollercoaster to reduce the number of panic attacks, suicide attempts/thoughts and breakdowns. I’m grateful to everyone who’s tagged along, supported me or literally saved my life.

Moving forward Pretty Dope Right?®️ will be a blog dedicated to sharing my journey according to my anxiety and depression. How it’s defined me, allowed me to define myself and forced me to find a functioning medium.

Thank you for reading

-Racquell

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Discover, Inspiration, random thoughts, Self Discovery, short stories

And Don’t Forget!

We’ve finally reached the most controversial holiday season of the year. Tis the season of cheer, fellowship, joy, love and traditions. Tis also the season of ungratefulness, greed, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. Now I’m not saying that it isn’t okay to be joyous. I’m simply asking you to be mindful.

Here are a few reasons why.

Working in retail during the holidays turned me off from Christmas a long time ago. I’ve never been a materialistic person and retail simply reassured me of how unnecessary it is to “buy gifts.” This glorious year reminded me that “going against the norm” is completely okay. Nothing happens if you don’t buy anything. Most people only buy gifts because people make them feel bad if they don’t. Priorities get all fucked up for Christmas. I personally know people that forgo rent payments and car notes for the sake of buying gifts. RENT!!!!!!!!!!!! There are also people pulling 80 hour work weeks for “Christmas money.”

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That’s when it takes the unhealthy turn. So with that being said, check on your friends that are acting frantic and physically draining themselves during this holiday season.

I have students that will be experiencing their first Christmas without a parent. Other students being forced to decide which parent that they are spending Christmas with.

There is someone that will wake up to nothing and alone on Christmas Day.

There is someone that YOU know that is forbidden to celebrate with their families because they came out of the closet earlier this year.

The scenarios are endless.

Check on your friends that have to be strong during this holiday season.

It can also be stressful for us twenty somethings that are going against other societal norms – the single passion-driven kidless kind.

Those that actually choose (because you’re grown now and you do have a choice) to spend time with family during the holidays. Shoutout out to those with healthy family dynamics but this for the folks being summoned by their dysfunctional and/or toxic family members.

It happens every year. You actually look forward to going home to spend time (this time). You’ve mentally prepared. You prepared a dish. Arrived on time. Greeted everyone. Plates have been prepared. As folks are finishing up, folks are starting to chatter and somehow the focus of the conversation has shifted to you.

So what do you do now?

I had a friend that did that, and they didn’t make any money.

Passions don’t pay the bills.

So where’s your man at?

You’re still not thinking about kids? You’re almost 30.

So whats’s the five year plan?

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Check on your folks that are actually spending time with their families (*especially folks down South that have been brainwashed into believing that respect is only reserved for the elderly by way of “minding your manners and respecting or not sassing your elders” even when they’re wrong).

How about everybody check on everybody?

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Discover, poetry, Self Discovery, short stories, Uncategorized

Museum of Thought: Poetic Perspectives from Adolescence Volume 1

I remember being 13 and experiencing my first thoughts of suicide. I remember bouncing back and between thoughts of hanging myself or overdosing on prescription painkillers. It would be safe, clean and painless. Self-inflicted pain was never my “thing.”

 

Museum of Thought: Poetic Perspectives in Adolescence is a poetic time capsule of my depression. My words sometimes served as a therapeutic release. It was my outlet, but oftentimes I felt that it wasn’t enough. I cried a lot in silence. When I wasn’t crying, I was writing. When I wasn’t crying or writing, I was reading. All the while, nobody in my immediate family knew. I had a few friends that knew how I felt but could only offer the type of support that kids could offer, friendships. I harbored more than my share of negative feelings and emotions.

 

If I allow others to tell my story, they’d assure you that I was happy. I was always smiling and being silly. I was always the “pretty and smart girl that’s going to do well in life.” That’s always been and unfortunately continues to be the narrative that people tell about me. I grew to hate it. It was the image of a person that others created for me, with good intentions I’ll assume.

 

Pretty and smart girls don’t fuck up. Oops, I said fuck. Taboo. Pretty and smart girls do well in school, decline peer pressure, drugs and alcohol (ALWAYS), go to church religiously, don’t have sex casually and marry the guys of their dreams. That’s a whole lot of pressure to be under. A pressure that I never asked for.

 

Oh yeah. And pretty and smart girls damn sure don’t deal with depression.

 

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I’ve never been one to complain and I’m still not extremely comfortable with sharing things that bother me. When you’ve voiced things that bothered you and nothing changed or you’ve been punished for your voice, it forces you to go dormant sometimes. When you’ve voiced things that bothered you and you’ve been judged, it forces you to keep them to yourself and figure it out on your own. That was me for 18 years. For the past 10 years, I’ve been trying to determine exactly how and when to use that voice. 10 years.

 

I’ve held onto some of these poems for well over 15 years. I’m sure that there are more that have been lost or destroyed out of fear that someone would find them, read them and I’d be punished for my thoughts.

 

To be honest, it wasn’t until 2015 that I began to take a look at how all of these factors played into my current mental health. In November 2015, upon suggestion by a psychologist, I voluntarily committed myself to a behavioral health observation unit for 24 hours. Here I was with a whole degree in Psychology sitting there trying to “figure some things out.” Within these 24 hours I learned a lot. I learned that what I had been dealing with was in fact depression along with anxiety. I also learned that if I didn’t deal with it properly, I’d either end up back in the observational unit or worse. It was a chance that I wasn’t willing to take.

 

Deep diving into depression isn’t an easy task. Everything has a root and most of the issues that we face go back to childhood. Reflection forces you to not only hold yourself accountable but it requires you to confront those that contributed to your depression. They don’t get a pass. I forgave myself and them as well. I understood that I could no longer use this as an excuse. I had to move on. Everything needed to be unpacked.

 

Luckily for me, many of these poems were of great help. They were reflections of where I was mentally. I hadn’t looked at these poems in 12 years and here I was digging them out of a bin in search of understanding. I found a binder and began organizing them.

 

 

I debated on how and when I wanted to share my thoughts with the world. I reasoned that if I could help myself, just imagine how many others could possibly be inspired to tell their stories.

 

Over the past 3 years, I’ve been slowly leaking a ton of these poems on my social media and at open mics. It amazed me how much people could relate. There were others who had been journaling and battling with depression for years as well. Some even had the same fears that I had.

 

The universe has a funny way of letting you know it’s time for a shift. I’ve had the ISBN number for Museum of Thought since August but didn’t start typing until I had a private mental breakdown and quit my job. I knew then that the time had come. It was time to release my collection and to be transparent.

 

As you read Museum of Thought, I ask that you reflect back to being 13 years old. Where were you mentally? What mattered? What shouldn’t have mattered? At 16, what was pressuring you? At 18, what decisions were you making? At 21, who mattered and who didn’t? What was the vision that you had for your life?

 

Museum of Thought is a deep dive into what depression felt like as I transitioned from 13-21. It’s an example of what depression looks like for some of us- the strong friend, the happy go lucky person, the go getter. The nerd. The bookworm. The social butterfly.

 

Museum of Thought is a message to my younger self that I never needed to be perfect. I needed to be me. Beautiful things can truly come from broken places. Regardless of what happens, these things remain constant:

 

I am deserving of good things

I am my own light in dark spaces

I am not a victim of circumstance

The universe is aligning things in my favor

This journey is my own and I choose what to accept

 

What does your Museum of Thought say about you?

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corporate america, Discover, random thoughts, Self Discovery, short stories, Uncategorized

I Ain’t Got No Job Man

7/31/18

Today started out as a regular day. I dreaded hearing the alarm clock, repeated my affirmations, hit the bathroom and prepared to walk Milo. Our walk was like any other day with Milo ignoring the conversation that I tried to have with him. I got dressed and went to work on what I would have thought to be a normal stressful day. My colleagues trickled in as per usual and we all got settled into our routine.

And then it started again.

More emails. Back and forth. If I had to guesstimate, I probably said “what the fuck” at least three hundred times. I was still struggling to understand why I seemed to be this week’s target for pettiness. What had I done to deserve such attention. Apparently I started to wear down on my higher up to the point where she simply walked over to explain what was intended in the 700,000 emails that were sent. Again I felt my pot starting to boil. Under normal conditions I’m an advocate for eye contact. In this particular encounter I deliberately avoided it. I guess it had more to do with her standing over me while explaining herself. Nevertheless she finished and went back into the comforts of her office space. All was quiet on the department front until I received an email with the work I had completed being sent up the ladder (a normal process). The difference is that within this email, she decided to single out each and every mistake that I made as well.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I looked to see if my HR rep was available on Skype. She wasn’t. So I proceeded to go to my car, get the biggest TJ Maxx bag I could find, come upstairs and began packing my shit. My colleagues asked if I was leaving. Yes. Today? Yes. Right now? Yup. They understood. Supposedly this wasn’t their first encounter with the OCD micromanagement either but I had had enough. I’ve been doing a phenomenal job at keeping my depression and anxiety at bay. It was rearing it’s ugly head again. Three years with no panic attacks and I could feel them coming on again. Clearly, it was this job and it had to go.

It took two trips to get everything down. Once I got done packing I walked to my team members and bid them farewell. I knew my energy would be missed. Each asked if I had a plan and my response was simple. No but I trust that if I fall, the universe will catch me. I even told my boss bye. She said bye and asked where I was going. I simply kept walking, head held high singing Lil Duval’s hit Smile (Best Life). Not only did I find it humorous for the occasions but also perfectly fitting.

**I started a manuscript about my journey so stay tuned**

And that’s how my day went.

I wanted so desperately to be afraid or to be sad that I was leaving the comforts of a hefty salaried position. Nada. I was more relieved to get as far away as possible from the 8-5+ life as possible (because its never truly 8-5).

In my reflection, I got to thinking, depending on the dollar signs, I think we quickly forget how truly priceless we are, how pertinent our health is and honestly how disposable and replaceable we really are to giant corporations.

This first full week of freedom was full of support, surprises and adventures and I was reminded of a few things.

1. You are not alone

I was amazed at how many people on my social media platforms shared my sentiments in being fed up. Many had been suffering for much longer than I have. A few people commented and messaged me about my bravery. Even more people were in disbelief about me leaving such a high ranking position. Most importantly people were and are still wondering, what the hell I am going to do to pay the bills.The truth is I’m still figuring it out. I have quite a few ideas though. I wish that I could bottle up this feeling of happiness and freedom and give it to everyone that feels burdened by these crappy positions.

2. Sometimes you gotta adjust the lens

I’ve been a resident of Greensboro NC for nine years now but on Friday I explored it as if it were my first time visiting. After getting a few tasks completed at the public library, I decided to leave my car parked and venture out by foot. I was able to try lunch at Cafe Europa for the first time, choosing to dine outside in solitude with my notebook…….

and visited a “Herstory” exhibit at the Greensboro Cultural Center……

where I also discovered a podcasting studio

I felt like a kid that skipped school with my backpack on walking the sidewalks. There were soooooooo many people out and about.

3. Don’t be afraid to try something new

I tried tofu…….it was gross

I had a tarot card reading………it was confirmation that I’m on the right path

I experienced my first reiki healing session…….I’m still amazed at how much baggage that I didn’t know I was still carrying from the past

I took my first online coaching masterclass…….I’ll be updating this site to include information for the coaching services that I offer

I was the canvas for a fantasy makeup competition…….first place of course

4. Love always wins

I had the pleasure of being the hostess for the wedding of two good friends. I don’t think that I’ll ever stop being a lover of love.

Love always wins literally and figuratively. As long as you’re doing something you love, you’ll never work a day in your life said every successful person ever that was pursuing these passions.

5. The Universe is aligning things in my favor

This isn’t my fourth affirmation by chance. All of the resources that I’ve been needing are falling directly into my lap. My creativity has been in overdrive and I’m finding it harder and harder to keep up with everything being sent in my direction.

While I don’t expect everyone reading this to pack up and leave the dungeons as I did, I do hope that you find my story inspiring. Remember, your mental health should always come first.

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Self Discovery

Woosah

The month of May is recognized as Mental Health Month since 1949. Growing up, the focus has always been placed on spiritual and physical health. A few years ago I became super interested in the state of my own mental health. I came to find that my mental health was the pillar that held my entire life together and needed to be a priority.

Last year I attended a Mental Health Day event that was hosted by a few friends of mine. During this event, we walked a trail and had a picnic in a park here. This year was the 2nd annual Mental Health Day event. This one was at Hanging Rock State Park. Who knew that there were natural waterfalls in North Carolina? Only forty-five minutes outside of Greensboro! We hiked for hours, soaked up some sun, got our feet wet and used all of our senses to enjoy mother nature. Check out some of the pics and Snapchat footage.

Pretty dope right?

So……..seeing that it’s still May, I decided to share with you a few of the things that I do to keep my mental health healthy and balanced.

Reading

I loves me a good read and don’t mind being mentally taken away. I allow my imagination and sense to be fully involved in everything I read. Oh the places that I’ve visited (mentally). Sometimes I’m reading for hours on the couch. Other times, I’m hanging out at a bookstore, coffee shop or restaurant.

Fruit Infused Waters

Pinterest. Pinterest. Pinterest. I can’t say it enough! They have plenty of healthy recipes to explore for healthy drinks and meals. Hot water with lemon, honey and/or mint has been a staple for the past year and the only time that I got sick was when I missed a solid week of not drinking it. What does that tell you? But with the summer months approaching, I’ve decided to switch over to cold fruit infused waters.

Kickboxing

This is new! I joint iLoveKickboxing earlier this month and I’ve been almost every day since my orientation class. I’ve never been one to fight or harbor aggression but kickboxing has been my safe haven for frustrations that I struggle with expressing. Check out day 3 and don’t you dare laugh!

Music

When all hell has broken loose, these albums ground me:

Camp- Childish Gambino

Big Baby DRAM- DRAM

A Seat at the Table- Solange

Coloring Book- Chance the Rapper

Come Away With Me- Norah Jones

Billy Remembers Billie- Billie Holiday

Fellowshipping with Friends

There’s nothing like it. Solitude is renewing but every now and then, linking up with the gang refreshes me.

Meditating

I’m not talking about sitting in painful poses changing mediation. My version of meditation is turning on my Himalayan Salt lamp, laying in my floor, legs elevated above my heart and clearing my mind of everything and focusing on nothing at all. There is also a meditation album that I play to fall asleep on occasion.

I also start and end each day repeating my affirmations to myself. Feel free to use them as your own or as a guide to create your own.

I am deserving of good things

I am my own light in dark spaces

I am not a victim of circumstance

The universe is aligning things in my favor

This journey is my own and I choose what to accept

I’m going to leave you with two question to ponder upon for the remainder of the month.

  1. What are you willing to sacrifice for your peace
  2. How do you know when you are “off” and what do you do to get back “on track”?

Take care of yourself folks!

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