According to Psychology Today, “survival mode” is an adaptive response of the human body to help us survive danger and stress.
From the outside looking in, many people would assume that I had an overall healthy childhood and adolescence. I was raised by my grandparents in the country. I got good grades. I never came off as disobedient. My yes mams and no sirs were always polished. Despite being a “good kid” raised in a super religious household, my life has never been exempt from trauma and dysfunction. I am almost certain that I’ve suffered from depression for years undiagnosed.
I recently read and shared an article that discussed the immobilizing effects of depression. I recognized myself immediately. I wasn’t in a position to get out of the environment that I was in so I mentally became immobile. I don’t remember how I learned to control my rage. How to play along. How to seemingly “fit” into that world until I could get out of it.
Fast forward to now.
At 30. Far removed from the people, places and things that brought the trauma and dysfunction into my life, I still catch myself functioning in survival mode.
It is very difficult to escape this mindset.
I’m constantly reminding myself. I question my decisions alot. Why am I doing this? When it’s time for me to make important decisions I ask myself if I’m doing what I want to do or what needs to be done? Anything involving money and I’m asking if I’m buying an item from a headspace of lack.
Whatever helps right?
To the person that resonates with this blog:
- How are you or have you been working on escaping a mindself of survival mode?
- What has been your biggest challenge?
2 thoughts on “Escaping Survival Mode”
I had to write a lot of exceptionally angry poetry to externalize the rage. These days, it just sleeps much deeper, but it still there, and I have 21 years on you. 🙂
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Same! Writing is so therapeutic man.